Redkulaid
06-18-2009, 12:29 AM
Originally posted on collegehumor.
*A warlock dressed in heavy battle armor cautiously enters a tavern*
Chris Hansen: Why hello there?
Warlock: Uhh, hello. Umm, I, uh...
Chris Hansen: Sir, why don't you take a seat, I have a few questions for you.
Warlock: Sorry, yes, of course...
Chris Hansen: What brought you over here tonight?
Warlock: I uh, I heard Jason wanted to gam-talk. He wanted to talk.
Chris Hansen: It sounded like you wanted to say game? Did Jason want to game with you?
Warlock: Yes, well no, well yeah, he said he wanted to play with me. But I never wanted to...
Chris Hansen: Do you know what level Jason is?
Warlock: I don't know. 30, 31?
Chris Hansen: He's an 8.
Warlock: I-I didn't know that sir, honestly. I thought he was much more experienced.
Chris Hansen: Well your messages say differently...
Warlock: Oh, my cat-
Chris Hansen: Please, let me continue. "I'm 43, what are you?" Then, he goes on to say he's level 8 which you reply, "8? I'm going to rape you. I'm going to rape you so hard. I shit on level 8's. Do you want me to shit on you? I am going to skull fuck you..." Must I read more?
Warlock: I, uh...I never...that wasn't me sir, I swear! I was just coming over to tell him to be safe and not ask to be pwned by higher levels. It's not safe.
*Chris passes a picture*
Chris Hansen: Is that a screenshot of your staff?
Warlock: I don't know, sir. I don't know...
Chris Hansen: So your saying that you had no idea he was a level 8 and that you were not the guy talking to him online and that you didn't send him that picture of your staff. Well then I hope you don't have what he asked to you to bring.
Warlock: Sir, no, I always carry these on me. I really do...You never know when you need mana regens!
Chris Hansen: ...be honest with me DragonKing33...
Warlock: I'm sorry sir...Are you his guild leader or something...
Chris Hansen: No, I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC. These are members of my crew taking screenshots.
*Three trolls enter from behind the bar, screencapping the warlock*
Warlock: Oh god, Oh no. Is this going to be posted on the WoW.com? Oh god...sir, I have a level 8 in my guild, you can't do this to me...he will never forgive me!
Chris Hansen: It was your decision to come here. If you have anything else to say, I would love to hear it. If not, you are free to go.
Warlock: I-I just want to say that I am sorry. And I hope everyone in this server understands I was not coming over to epicly pwn him. I just wanted to talk to him and warn him of the dangers of uber pwnage. I just wanted to help....I just wanted to help!
*The warlock walks out of the tavern and is immediately rushed by a team of server moderators and is banned for 3 hours*
*A warlock dressed in heavy battle armor cautiously enters a tavern*
Chris Hansen: Why hello there?
Warlock: Uhh, hello. Umm, I, uh...
Chris Hansen: Sir, why don't you take a seat, I have a few questions for you.
Warlock: Sorry, yes, of course...
Chris Hansen: What brought you over here tonight?
Warlock: I uh, I heard Jason wanted to gam-talk. He wanted to talk.
Chris Hansen: It sounded like you wanted to say game? Did Jason want to game with you?
Warlock: Yes, well no, well yeah, he said he wanted to play with me. But I never wanted to...
Chris Hansen: Do you know what level Jason is?
Warlock: I don't know. 30, 31?
Chris Hansen: He's an 8.
Warlock: I-I didn't know that sir, honestly. I thought he was much more experienced.
Chris Hansen: Well your messages say differently...
Warlock: Oh, my cat-
Chris Hansen: Please, let me continue. "I'm 43, what are you?" Then, he goes on to say he's level 8 which you reply, "8? I'm going to rape you. I'm going to rape you so hard. I shit on level 8's. Do you want me to shit on you? I am going to skull fuck you..." Must I read more?
Warlock: I, uh...I never...that wasn't me sir, I swear! I was just coming over to tell him to be safe and not ask to be pwned by higher levels. It's not safe.
*Chris passes a picture*
Chris Hansen: Is that a screenshot of your staff?
Warlock: I don't know, sir. I don't know...
Chris Hansen: So your saying that you had no idea he was a level 8 and that you were not the guy talking to him online and that you didn't send him that picture of your staff. Well then I hope you don't have what he asked to you to bring.
Warlock: Sir, no, I always carry these on me. I really do...You never know when you need mana regens!
Chris Hansen: ...be honest with me DragonKing33...
Warlock: I'm sorry sir...Are you his guild leader or something...
Chris Hansen: No, I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC. These are members of my crew taking screenshots.
*Three trolls enter from behind the bar, screencapping the warlock*
Warlock: Oh god, Oh no. Is this going to be posted on the WoW.com? Oh god...sir, I have a level 8 in my guild, you can't do this to me...he will never forgive me!
Chris Hansen: It was your decision to come here. If you have anything else to say, I would love to hear it. If not, you are free to go.
Warlock: I-I just want to say that I am sorry. And I hope everyone in this server understands I was not coming over to epicly pwn him. I just wanted to talk to him and warn him of the dangers of uber pwnage. I just wanted to help....I just wanted to help!
*The warlock walks out of the tavern and is immediately rushed by a team of server moderators and is banned for 3 hours*