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The simple fact is too, no one in westeros really knows anything about the wildlings. They just know they don't want them around. In reality, they are just people trying to carve out a life in a terrible environment with terrible things like the white walkers out there. Like Quinn said, some stuff has been skipped over, like Mance knows who jon snow is because he regularly crosses the wall and would do things like sneak in to their parties and pose as a singer.
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