a gem from the SA forums

[Rhun]

i don't really browse it as much as i used to, but i just read this and laughed so much i cried

A long time ago I was being extremely bored and generally stupid, so somehow I got the Nobel Prize worthy idea to see how much dental floss I could swallow and then pull back out of my stomach.

I had already done it with smaller pieces (no more than 6ft), so I went about and started swallowing a continuous strand of dental floss. For convenience, I stuck the roll of floss in my shirt pocket and watched TV for and hour and a half.

I finally decided to stop, and began to slowly fish the dental floss out of my throat. I retrieved about 5 feet of floss before it snagged. I couldn't retrieve anymore without the floss cutting into my esophagus. I assume the floss either got knotted up into a ball in my stomach and couldn't get up into my esophagus, or it had already started to feed through into my instestine. So after a half-hour of dry heaving, I gave up, cut the floss with nail clippers, and swallowed everything back down.

For the next few days, I never experienced intestinal pain so severe in my life. It felt like I had swallowed half of a broken beer bottle that was going shards first. I couldn't take the random sharp stabbing pains anymore so I fled to the drug store, purchased a bottle of laxative and downed the fucker when I got back out to my vehicle.

That night, my ass poured like a full-open garden hose. I can only assume that a massive yarn ball of minty floss was lurking beneath that opaque tan-colored toilet water afterwards, because the pain completely went away.

I'm surprised it didn't totally fuck up my digestive system. At least, I hope not...


The sad thing is, this is a true story.

[Nightlive]

Originally Posted by Rhun

i don't really browse it as much as i used to, but i just read this and laughed so much i cried

GBS thread?

[Sly]

my ass poured like a full-open garden hose.

classic

[Yooxra]

Worth the read

[Rhun]

hmm...another but this one freaks me the fuck out

During the summer of 1983, in a quiet town near Minneapolis, Minnesota, the charred body of a woman was found inside the kitchen stove of a small farmhouse. A video camera was also found in the kitchen, standing on a tripod and pointing at the oven. No tape was found inside the camera at the time.

Although the scene was originally labeled as a homicide by police, an unmarked VHS tape was later discovered at the bottom of the farm’s well (which had apparently dried up earlier that year).

Despite its worn condition, and the fact that it contained no audio, police were still able to view the contents of the tape. It depicted a woman recording herself in front of a video camera (seemingly using the same camera the police found in the kitchen). After positioning the camera to include both her and her kitchen stove in the image, the tape then showed her turning on the oven, opening the door, crawling inside, and then closing the door behind her. Eight minutes into the video, the oven could be seen shaking violently, after which point thick black smoke could be seen emanating from it. The camera then continued to point at the oven for another 45 minutes until the batteries apparently died.

To avoid disturbing the local community, police never released any information about the tape, or even the fact that it was found. Police were also not able to determine who put the tape in the well…

…or why the body of the woman on the tape did not in any way resemble the body of the woman found in the oven.